Fear of Criticism – Is It Stopping You?
In August of 2008 I posted an article by Ali Brown about handling your critics. It seems that this topic is one that plagues many people – the successful aren’t excepted, they’ve just found a way to manage it so that it doesn’t get them down or stop them in their tracks.
The truly successful actually find a way to help the criticism SERVE them and help them become even more generous and understanding toward others. Does that sound remarkable to you?
You would think that a personal growth professional would surely have mastered this issue, right? Not so, my dear. I get emails frequently from members and readers who know they are on the right track, who know they are serving people in meaningful ways, yet still get stopped short when they get a biting or vicious response to an article, project, or program.
I don’t know that it’s a bigger issue for women professionals than men, but I have my suspicions.
I recently read a post by Fabienne Frederickson about how to get out of your own way by overcoming criticism.
It is excellent in many ways – one of which is the humanity that Fabienne shows by sharing that she was, at one time, someone who would have thrown some barbs. (Recognize yourself, anyone?)
One of her suggestions is
to “Focus on your leadership and power as being something that SERVES and INSPIRES others, not hurts others. In doing so, you’ll shine and then give others permission to shine.” If we can keep that in mind – that it’s all about giving others permission to shine – we’re more likely to handle it well. And, to do otherwise, is to actually withhold from clients.
She also suggests considering the worst case scenario. Seriously, what IS the worst thing that could happen if someone criticizes you? Even if they do it in a particularly mean way? I think we spend too much time imagining that it would be must worst than it is, so by actually considering the worst, it actually diminishes in importance and loses its power.
Hmmmm….
What are the consequences of you holding back because of fear of criticism?
February 12th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Nina,
What a great reminder. Often we are our own biggest obstacle. And that is often some made up thing in our head – our imagination gone wild (not in the good way of going wild).
I especially like the re-focusing on serving and inspiring you mention as with that perspective we can really be our best and share that with others.
Thanks, Alison
February 19th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
From my experience with coaching biz owners, it seems that as soon as they really step up into their business and things start to grow – that is when the critics show up.
So having critics show up becomes a sign of success! In a sense we should want the critics then (hehe). If you don’t have anyone criticizing you yet, are you playing a big enough game?
Andrea Lee calls is your BOP statement – being Bold, Outrageous and Provocative. Standing for something in your business and not being afraid to say it loud and clear. Seems the most successful people do this the best (and get criticism as a result).
The key is, of course, to find a way to shelter yourself from the critics and don’t let them slow you down or throw you off track.